By Camille Johnson
Change doesn’t always knock. Sometimes it kicks the door in. Maybe you didn’t see it coming—a layoff, a breakup, a move across the country, or something more internal, like realizing you’re not the person you thought you were. Whatever the shape of the shift, it’s disorienting. You scramble for footing, and there’s no manual for what happens next. That’s where this begins: not with perfect answers, but with figuring out how to navigate the wobble without losing your balance entirely.
Rebuilding Routines When the Old Ones Don’t Fit
When life jolts you off your axis, your first instinct might be to cling to whatever routines you had before. But here’s the hard truth—sometimes those rhythms don’t work anymore. The job’s gone, the partner’s gone, the morning commute has vanished into thin air. You’re left with empty hours and muscle memory that keeps reaching for something that isn’t there. This is your moment to create new rituals—not grand or perfect ones, just small anchors that help reset your day. Think coffee at the same time every morning, or a walk at sunset, or journaling before bed. Not because these fix everything, but because they help carve structure out of chaos.
Letting Yourself Grieve, Even If It Was Your Choice
There’s this myth that if you chose the change—leaving the job, ending the relationship—you don’t get to mourn it. That’s nonsense. Loss is loss, and sometimes what you’re mourning isn’t the thing itself but the version of yourself that used to belong to it. Give yourself room to feel all of it: the sadness, the nostalgia, even the guilt. You’re not being dramatic. You’re just being honest, and that honesty is a kind of oxygen. Denying it only drags out the ache.
Making the Leap After the Fall
Sometimes a layoff or career derailment doesn’t mean the end—it means you’ve been handed a blank canvas. Starting your own business might feel like leaping without a net, but it’s often where your real skills and ideas finally get to breathe. The first steps usually involve identifying what you’re good at, what people need, and building a small, scrappy version of the solution. A tool like ZenBusiness can smooth that messy beginning by helping you form your LLC, stay on top of compliance, launch a website, or even handle the financial side, all in one place—so you can focus on what you’re building instead of getting stuck in the paperwork.
Learning the Language of Uncertainty
Most of us are allergic to not knowing. We like plans, timelines, clarity. So when change throws you into a long pause—a season where nothing is clear and you can’t see two steps ahead—it’s tempting to rush through it or pretend it isn’t happening. But some seasons don’t resolve quickly. Sometimes you have to live inside the questions. That means getting comfortable with words like “maybe” and “not yet.” It means showing up every day without knowing what the next chapter looks like—and doing it anyway.
Reaching Out Without Performing Stability
People will ask how you’re doing, and the easy answer is “fine.” But there’s something powerful about choosing the harder, truer answer: “Not sure yet.” Being vulnerable in the middle of the storm takes guts, especially when everyone else seems so put-together. But letting others see your mess gives them permission to show you theirs. And that connection? That’s what helps you remember you’re not the only one whose life doesn’t look like a straight line right now.
Changing Your Relationship With Control
Here’s the kicker: most life changes yank control out of your hands. You can fight it—or you can learn a new dance. Maybe you stop gripping so tightly to the five-year plan. Maybe you start paying attention to what’s actually in front of you, instead of chasing the illusion of control. That doesn’t mean becoming passive. It means becoming responsive. Instead of trying to predict every twist, you train yourself to pivot when they come. It’s jazz, not classical. You’re improvising. That’s where the life is.
Giving Yourself Permission to Start Ugly
There’s pressure—especially in this self-optimization culture—to bounce back in style. To land gracefully. To “glow up” in the aftermath. Forget that. Real change is messy. Starting over often means doing things badly for a while: awkward dates, clunky job interviews, a weird phase where you try painting or take up boxing or spend too much time on Reddit. That’s not failure. That’s process. Let yourself be a beginner. Let yourself suck at things for a minute. It’s a good sign—it means you’re trying.
Listening for the Things That Still Light You Up
In the noise of transition, joy can go quiet. You forget what makes you laugh, what makes you lose track of time, what gives you that low-simmer buzz of meaning. So you start listening for it again. Maybe it’s a podcast that makes you feel seen, or a book that cracks something open in you, or a late-night talk with someone who just gets it. Chase those glimmers. They don’t fix everything, but they remind you that even in the midst of the undoing, you’re still here. Still capable of wonder.
There’s no universal roadmap for managing change because we’re not machines—we’re stories in motion. You won’t always do it gracefully. Sometimes you’ll regress, sometimes you’ll sprint ahead, sometimes you’ll stall out entirely. But if you pay attention—if you let the change teach you instead of just happening to you—something new starts to grow in the cracks. You won’t be the same person you were before. But that was never the point, was it?
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Camille Johnson created Bereaver.com after she went through the ups and downs of the bereavement process following the loss of her parents and husband. With the help of her friend who was experiencing a loss of her own, she learned how to grieve the healthy way. This made her realize that there is no one way to grieve, but it is important to do it in a way that supports your physical and mental health.
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